You are the boss of your vulva

This may sound obvious and yet it can be very easy to put someone else’s knowledge on a pedestal instead of your own.

Maybe a lover who you judge as more experienced then you

Or the health professional with the credentials 

Or the practitioner with the years of experience 

Or the healer who’s very spiritual

Or the book author that everyone is raving about

It’s true that they may know things you don’t know, or have experiences that you don’t have

Yet there will be things they say or a practice they recommend that aren't suitable for you, or aren't suitable for you right now

And the only person who can judge that, is you

You listening to your inner knowing, noticing if something feels off, or not quite right, or if something unexpected feels amazing

Your relationship to your vulva and body, guiding you

This discernment takes practice, it’s sometimes hard to feel yeses and nos in stressful moments

Or we were deeply drawn to someone, only to realise it was out of familiarity of past trauma, not authentic desire

I say this after years of working with experts, some of whom were incredibly helpful and others who were harmful.

Most of them offered a piece of my healing puzzle, however it was me that needed to put them all together

Me advocating for me and my needs.

And having compassion for myself when I couldn’t hear my truth or I felt too small to act on it

Anyone you are working with regarding sex or your vulva, should be teaching you and uplifting you to be the boss of your own vulva

Prioritising your knowing, intuitions, insights, desires and boundaries