Shoulds suck the fun out of life

Or at least they do for me.

I’ve found myself feeling creatively stuck recently. 

Between two loud voices in my head, both telling me how I should be creative.

There was one voice telling me that I need to be productive. To write every day, to practice and hone my craft.

To consider what others need to know. And to tell them. To be matter of fact and compelling and sometimes personal.

The other voice told me only to write when I felt alive and blazing with what I needed to share. To wait for the muse to come. Never to try. And forget about consistency, it’s all about potency. 

The thing is both voices have truth. Both have power. Both have worked as strategies for other people very successfully.

I would try one voice out for a while and the other would shout at me. 

And even when I felt one voice was the ‘right way’, I was still coming from should.

I was following that voice, because I thought it was the safe strategy.

The one that would work and that I could defend to others.

In case anyone would challenge how I create.

All of this came to a head recently in a therapy session. 

I eloquently explained the challenge to my therapist.

She got me to talk to one of the sides of the argument.

And gave me the homework to talk to the other side too.

And without having done the homework, I still got a breakthrough.

I read a post from another coach (@Sallyhardie) that said something along the lines of

That if you’re not creating in the way that you’re drawn to, then you’re not serving at your highest level

This arrived in my body as a relief

It reminded me that the only person I need to answer to creatively is myself

There are no shoulds, I get to make my own rules

I can play with all approaches, following my whims

I can write how I want to write and nothing else.