You Are Allowed Look For a Partner

There is a common saying, that you’ll find love when you stop looking

I used to repeat this saying to myself and friends when I was growing up, I took it to mean that I shouldn’t actively look for a partner, instead I should devote my time and energy to living a fulfilling life

Which sounds like solid advice

Except that it reinforces that we need to be passive in our desire to find a partner, that we need to wait for them to find us, and we need to create a perfect fulfilling life to deserve them

Which isn’t how it worked out for me

I wanted a man and did lots of inner work to find one that met my desires

I hired relationship coaches, I spent hours on dating apps, I went on lots of dates, I went to single events

I was intentional every step along the way

I treated the whole experience as a learning opportunity 

Me meeting Matt, didn’t happen by chance because I stopped looking, it’s because I spent years looking and working on myself along the way

I wanted it and I worked for it

That’s not to say that everyone needs to put in so much effort and intention, I’m offering an alternative to the view that it comes when you stop looking

I’m speaking to the people who want a partner, but think they shouldn’t be trying or looking because of this phrase

Go get it! Be intentional. Be vulnerable and put in the effort.

It pays off

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

If you want support finding a partner, message me about 1to1 work together

I’m also offering Pleasure Deep Dives, these are a 60 minute 1to1 session with a mix of coaching and teaching on pleasure principles. They can be devoted to pleasure in relationships, s/ex or day to day life. You choose. They cost £50. To book yours, message me directly X