The main star of my fantasies and how it shifted

One of the biggest shifts in my relationship to pleasure, came not from my training or courses I attended but from reading Caitlin Moran’s book ‘How to build a girl’.

There was a moment in the book when the protagonist talks about how she used to m/asturbate thinking about all the pleasure she would give the other person. 

Her focus was on her touching THEM and how it would feel for THEM. She wasn’t even the main event in her own fantasies.

And as I read that, I realised that I was doing the same thing.

As I m/asturbated, I fantasised about all I could do for the other person.

How skilled and adept I would be.

I was getting off on their pleasure, not on my own.

What the f*ck. 

It was a big wakeup call for me to realise, that even in the privacy of my own thoughts, that I wasn’t the priority.

I was people pleasing in my fantasies.

I changed my fantasies then. 

Onto me receiving. Me being touched. My pleasure being the priority.

It took some getting used to because my brain was habituated with the old fantasies, but over time this shifted.

I remember at the time, it helped me centre my pleasure more when it came to s/ex with others.

It helped me get better at receiving and being more present to the pleasure in my body.

🌹If you want to experience more pleasure in your life, whether that’s in your s/ex, or your relationship or in your life more generally book for a Pleasure Deep Dive Session with me. These are a mix of me teaching pleasure principles on how to expand pleasure in your body and then coaching on specific desires and blocks that you have. Before the session, I’ll check in to see if there’s any area that you would like me to focus on and I will cater the teachings to your needs. The session will be 60 minutes long and they cost £50. Book a call with me to book one🌹