One of the things that can make it more difficult to experience sexual pleasure with a partner, is having a fixed masturbation style
A fixed masturbation style is when we masturbate the same way each time we do it, whether that’s with our own fingers, hands, bedding item, vibrator etc
The reasons why this can make it difficult to experience sexual pleasure with a partner are..
It can mean that we’ve trained our body to only enjoy one route to pleasure, which means that when we’re with a partner and if they don’t follow these exact moves, it can make it difficult for us to relax and enjoy what they are doing to us
It often means that we’re focused on reaching the end goal of climax, instead of enjoying and savouring each moment of the experience. This can mean that when we’re with a partner and they are touching us, that we’re not able to enjoy the subtler body/genital sensations as we’re so focused on climax
By doing the same thing each time, we’re not paying attention to the cues and desires that are arising in our body in the moment. We’ve trained ourselves to ignore those and just do the thing that works, even if our body would prefer to go slower/faster/move differently/touch a different part of our bodies than what we typically do. So when we’re with a partner, it can mean that we don’t know what our body desires in the moment and it can make it difficult to ask them for what we want so that we can experience more pleasure
If you’re experiencing this, try changing up your masturbation style. Go slower, feel into what your body wants next. Take climax off the table as the goal.
If you want more focused support with your sex or with pleasure more generally book for a Pleasure Deep Dive Session with me. These are a mix of me teaching pleasure principles on how to expand pleasure in your body and then coaching on specific desires and blocks that you have. Before the session, I’ll check in to see if there’s any area that you would like me to focus on and I will cater the teachings to your needs. The session will be 60 minutes long and they cost £50. Message me directly to book one
