I went through a phase when I was younger. To chase after musicians, writers & dj’s.

I believed that if I was chosen by them, that it meant I was special, that I was cool.

That I would brag in later years when they would be invariably famous, that I slept with that dude.

I idolised their talent and saw the brightest futures ahead of them.

I wasn’t giving much thought to my talents back then.

I was a mess of anxiety and heavy drinking.

Panic attacks and going to therapy.

Feeling like I had potential but no power to express it.

Shoulds suck the fun out of life

Or at least they do for me.

I’ve found myself feeling creatively stuck recently.

Between two loud voices in my head, both telling me how I should be creative.