I used to find it hard to have an orgasm with a partner

Years ago, one of the biggest things that I wanted to change about my sex life was my ability to have an orgasm with a partner. For years, I found it hard to relax and enjoy myself and I would get stressed about how long it took me to climax. I thought there was something wrong with me or that I was just someone who didn’t find it easy to have an orgasm with a partner.

I wanted to change this, so I began to study about female pleasure and orgasm. And not too long into that journey, my ability to have an orgasm with a partner radically shifted where it became easy for me.

There are a few things that I learned and practiced, that helped that

✨I stopped trying to make an orgasm happen, so I stopped being tight and clenching my pelvis and holding my breath and tightening my thighs

✨I let go of orgasm being the goal and instead I practiced just being with the sensations that were happening and enjoying them

✨I asked for and received more clitoral attention

✨I told partners when I wanted them to stop or change what they were doing and named what I wanted instead

✨I focused my attention onto the sensations in my body instead of the fears and thoughts in my head

✨I named my fears when they were blocking me from being present e.g. ‘I’m afraid you’re bored that I’m taking too long’

✨I practiced more intentional self pleasure and couple pleasure practices

All of these changes took time to implement and bravery too. It felt uncomfortable at first to change how I was doing things and to change how I communicated with my partners. But the bravery and effort paid off.

If you’re in the spot where you want to have more pleasurable sex and you want support in making changes, message me about working together.

I offer once off sessions, a group program called The Pleasure Upgrade and a deep 6 month 1:1 journey. Go to the contact page to book a call with me