Do you hate online dating?

I was talking with a client recently and she shared how she finds online dating tough because there was no way to know before a date, if the guy would show up looking like his pictures or if they would have a connection.

Can you relate to this experience?

I told her another way of looking at this was to see online dating as a game where she practices her skills of intuition.

Where she feels into someone’s online profile and hears what her body says. What does she sense about them?

Then after the date to review her intuition against her actual experience.

And to use this information to further hone this skill.

She really loved this re-frame and found it useful.

The thing is, it’s very easy to see dating as an imposition, as an admin function to get over and done with. A time waste until you meet your person. But if you approach it as a practice, as a way of improving your skills of intuition, and your capacity to ask for what you want and to hold boundaries, then there’s no loss.

It’s a generative way of spending your time.

Really it’s setting your skills for when you are in relationship.

I want to add, that this isn’t to say that everyone should use dating apps. I think they are wonderful and sometimes they are not the congruent place for you to meet people. It really depends on what feels alive and doable for you.

If you’re feeling stuck in your dating, and want to figure out an approach that feels fresh and in tune with your being, sign up for a Pleasure Deep Dive 1:1 60 minute session with me. We’ll go over what you’re currently doing, what your desires are and we’ll figure out next steps that feel aligned and true. You can sign up and book here.