This isn’t failure, it’s reality

When I was a teenager, I felt drawn to practicing meditation

I remembering buying books on the topic - including one its neuroscientific benefits, to the autobiography of a tantrika who lived her life in devotional practice

I so wanted to be her

I had no real clue though about how to practice, or capacity then to sit in such a structured way, so it drifted out my consciousness as something to try.

In my early twenties, it emerged again as a desire. I found more books and started to meditate with the headspace app.

But gave up because I found it too challenging

Then I found another app, used that when I was stressed 

But then forgot about it

I cycled in and out of regular practice like this for years

I’d fall off the wagon, then eventually climb back on

Slowly over 10 years, the periods of showing up grew, until it became a daily practice

Over that time, I faced various hurdles of resistance, physical discomfort, busyness and difficulty being with the confronting sensations, emotions and thoughts that emerged from sitting still

And yet, I persisted because I felt inextricably called to it.

The desire to meditate stayed with me

I’ve had a similar experience recently with jogging. I wanted to jog for years, I would practice for a while, then stop, then try again. Rinse and repeat for years. Now I’m back doing it regularly and it feels established into my routine.

In today’s Instagram, quantum-leap focussed world, I sometimes find it easy to fall into the trap of thinking I’m a failure if I don’t have immediate success. 

But then I remember that my journey to meditation took years and now it’s such a pleasure, one of the highlights of my day.

Same with jogging.

If you’ve got a desire that you’ve been nurturing and need support on establishing it, book in for a Desire Deep Dive Session with me.

These are hour long 1:1 calls where you’ll get my focused attention and guidance on how to make it a reality.

All of the details are here