One of the  main patterns I had to work through before I got with Matt was a pattern of chasing flirting with other women's men. 

I'd had this pattern, since I was a teenager. 

Basically what would happen is I would meet a guy and take a shine to him, and I would either know in advance or discover pretty quickly that he had a girlfriend.

Oftentimes it was a woman who I admired and looked up to. A woman who was in her power, and who was confident. 

I would flirt with the man, I would fantasise about him, I would put him on a pedestal and energetically, I would be pulling for his attention, and his desire. 

This went on for years it was just always something I did, without much thought as to why I was doing it. 

It came to a head, not long before I got with Matt, when I was doing some journaling. 

I had this realisation and all the reasons why I was doing this just hit me full force!

One reason was that it was part of my normal intimacy avoidance tactics -  because chasing men who already have women is a good way to make sure you never get with someone

But also it was because I wanted to be those women and I thought that if I was with their men, there is a way that their power would be conferred to me.  That I would have been that powerful a woman to have that man's attention.

And thirdly, I didn't think it was possible for me to inspire a man to show up and love me for being me. 

I remember that when I had these realisations, I couldn’t unseen the pattern. 

I began a ritual where I energetically cut ties with any man who I could feel that pull on my system, and I visualised pulling back my energy. I finished by apologising energetically to all the women I had done that to.

Afterwards I felt free. I didn't fantasise or  engage in any of those patterns anymore, it felt like a shutter had gone down, where I was no longer energetically available for chasing other women's men. 

The energy that I freed up from that pattern was one of the ways that I got energetically prepared myself for having a partner of my own, Matt, whom I reconnected with not long after that ritual. 

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I'll be covering this and other energetic principles for Calling in a Conscious Partner in my new programme DEEP LOVE, it goes live on September 22nd. I'm really excited about this one, it’s been cooking in me for a while!

DM me to have a call to chat about it X